It’s Okay to Be a Mary in a World Full of Martha’s

Housekeeping is not my forte.

It never has been.

I have friends who are household rock stars. They are the perfect embodiment of the Proverbs 31 woman. But I am not that woman.

Back when I was a single mom with just one child, I could keep up pretty good… most of the time.

Let’s face it, there wasn’t much to keep up with.

However, I still remember the time we went to my mom’s for the weekend and I forgot to take the trash out before we left. That wasn’t pleasant.

But now I am married and the mother of four. I could clean 24 hours a day and probably still not keep up. I tried for a while. And then I gave up.

Well, “gave up” is the wrong term.

A Different Take On Housekeeping

Someone older and wiser told me that my kids would never grow up and wish their home was cleaner growing up, and I would never wish I had kept it cleaner after they were grown. But we could never get the moments together back, so I should cherish them. I should spend my time wisely, and sometimes that means ignoring the dust and leaving dirty dishes in the sink.

I’ll be honest, that was a huge relief to me.

Because I was never going to make it as Suzy-homemaker. It just isn’t in me.

But loving my kids with all that is in me? That’s something I can do.

The floors in my home aren’t always swept. The counters are usually cluttered. And we usually have misplaced something of value, but my kids know they are loved.

Curling up with my Bible and totally ignoring the laundry that needs to be folded? You bet.

If you ask me if I’m a Mary or a Martha, I won’t even hesitate to tell you I am a Mary.

I don’t get Martha’s. I just don’t. I’m thankful for them. I wish there were more of them. And if any of them want to come clean my house, please feel free. But I’m just not one of them. I wasn’t built that way.

I Am Not Every Woman

Now, I know my friends who are household rock stars don’t love their kids any less. They don’t love Jesus any less. God just built us different. And that’s okay. That’s a good thing.

The problem comes in when we try to be someone we’re not.

When we try to be the wife we were never meant to be.

When we try to be the mom we were never meant to be.

The woman we were never meant to be…

The Christian we were never meant to be.

Because God made each of us exactly the way He intended to.

The way we were meant to be.

The way our families needed us to be.

Embrace Your Space

So, if you ever show up at my house, and you are appalled by the state of my living room. I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry.

I have daughters who love to make blanket forts, and I love to hear their giggles.

Our home is full of life, and we live it to the full each and every day. And our home definitely reflects that.

Maybe someday after my kids are grown and gone I will have one of those homes that is spotlessly clean. But, probably not. After all, my family isn’t my excuse. They are my joy.

My housekeeping skills won’t get any better, there just won’t be as much to keep up with.

If I go to your home and there isn’t a speck of dirt to be seen, I’m not going to think any less of you, I’ll even admire you a little. Because even though I’m okay with my dirt, I still know a household rock star when I see one.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter if your space is messy or clean, your home is yours. Embrace it and fill it with love. That’s what your family will remember most of all. The rest is just stress.

Where Do You Fall?

Are you neat and tidy, or pretty much a hot mess? Do you need to be reminded that it’s okay to give yourself grace (even when it comes to housekeeping)? Or maybe do you need to remember that the rest of us need a little grace, too? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

*Originally posted July 30th, 2018 on Candidly Christian

If you liked this blog post, keep your eyes open for Heather’s upcoming book, Candid Conversations, where she has partnered with 25 other Christian women. While each story shares a unique perspective, the prevailing theme is that we all struggle, but there is hope to be found in Jesus. Coming August 13th, 2018. Now available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.